Corrupt a Wish!

[Deleted]

Granted, but sadly, you instantly become lactose intolerant.

I wish that I was frozen until the year 3000 and was unthawed intact and alive.

[Deleted]

Granted, unfortunately sea horses rule the world with a kelpy fist.

I wish I had my heros powers

[Deleted]

Granted, but your every action,thought and word is controlled by some unknown person on the internet. They control you via third person text compositions and claim to have 'created' you.

I wish the Steelers win the Superbowl.

[jinx]

Granted! They won in the year 2011, but you are currently in the year 3000 when sea horses are ruling the world and have no idea because they don't record history. I wish I had super genius intellact.

[The Hopeslayer]

Granted, but everyone simply became incredibly stupid which makes you a genius by comparison.

I wish I could paint a giant scary face on the moon to freak everyone out.

[Deleted]

Granted, but it's always moving onto the dark side of the moon, where us earthlings can't see it.

I wish that the US government finally passes the legislation needed to completely decriminalize and legalize the possesion, use, sale and growth of marijuana (and it's by-products), in all 50 states (and territories), without the need of a marijuana specific ID.

[The Hopeslayer]

Granted. Too bad that a plague strikes, destroying the entire world supply of marijuana forever.

I wish I had another full bag of Reese's Pieces.

[Deleted]

Granted, but it's literally a burlap sack full of used, unwashed protective jock straps belonging to Reese from Malcolm in the Middle.

I wish I found the Death Note and became the real life Kira.

[quakerlol]

Granted, but real-life L quickly finds you and defeats you, making you the laughingstock of the evil-genius community. And then he eats all of your cake.

I wish for a sweet little puppy!

[Izzy]

Granted, however, the puppy is doomed to never be house broken.

I wish I was smart enough to understand calculus.